Abandoned, just simply too long
Trust me. This blog is still the home page for my web browsers for those of you who are … wondering. I know how pathetic it is to keep a blog that hasn’t been updated since the New Year (side note: I did complain at people for not updating much); but, hey, please be happy for me since it shows that in a way, I was ‘tied up’ … a proof that life’s actually been happening, naturally looking at this dusty blog of mine, or perhaps I should restate that Facebook & Twittering were enough to update everyone with all the tiny little events in my humble life.
So, what triggered me to jot down a few lines in my tatami room. Nothing actually, just a random kick in myself after watching 2 movies on a Sunday morning (Multiple Sarcasms & Youth in Revolt, for curious individuals) when I should have been studying actually for the coming exams. Oh well, exams don’t intrigue me at all (a passive, not active learner – in other words, I’d say I prefer to absorb things as I run, I don’t run to things to absorb them. Get me?) and somehow all the last minute trainings back in school life turns to be handy even now. Squeezing them into the temporary memory, zipping them up in packages and then unzip them to fill in the blank pages at a well, acceptable extraction quality.
This blog had been a good partner to record significant events in life (see how I put this line in past tense), sharing whatsoever that interests me as they throttle down my lane. It’s actually funny to see how this blog links me with all the people who actually bumped into it. Mostly they are my colleagues at work as some of them were searching for details of my current job and randomly, got to know that I scribbled about my joy of getting the job that changed my dreaded life of engineering.
So, how’s work life? That’s one of the questions I always get lately. People seems to be so “creative” or perhaps, they just don’t know much enough on what I am up to (don’t blame them) and they’d eventually land on the same boring question. Life’s good, I would always tell them and I would quote my junior who commented on my Mixi blog (the largest SNS site in Japan – I, somehow, manage to update daily as a routine now) stating that,
“Hey, Endoru, how come it hits me that you are enjoying working life than student life?”
Urm, hello, if you’ve been following with what I’ve gone through in that dark age, you’d agree that I am having a hell good time of life now much more.
As how one of my Facebook status update goes, “I feel like a financial analyst on weekdays and a career consultant/therapist on the weekends.” I even, continued by commenting on my own status update, “Filling up e-mails with my ideas/advices/thoughts for their wearies. Shooting sentences of motivation and slaps of reality to help one to measure his/her abilities. Dream, reality, how. If I got all the answers, I would be God but am glad somehow people repetitively revisit me as they face different phases of life. I can only and only share based on my experiences and limited knowledge, connecting dots to dots hopefully they turn into lines and finally become stereoscopic visions for them.”
Another junior suggested that I should set up some FAQs on my blog. I politely rejected by stating, “Good idea. But actually, my dear customers do not only comes from engineering line. Anyway, I can pass to some others who seem to be on the right track like yourself. Every single one has their own unique worries and I prefer to talk to each of them directly for those I give a damn for – again, I do have the rights to choose on my side as well and I don’t just cater anyone who comes to me. Some people take me for granted (those that comes to you only when they find you useful) and those are not worth for me to “waste my saliva”. I don’t like the idea of preparing a go-to-Bible for everyone since it doesn’t work like the debate: Holy Bible is correct, Al-Quran is correct.”
That’s how life is for me now. Somehow, I get to practice my passion a bit, time to time, in the HR related department. I used to aspire to be a psychologist or therapist and I see that that could be a side dish. I like to share and be bluntly truthful and honest (perhaps an urge after suffering years pushing myself doing things I discern). Advices … some may say, but I don’t like to put it that way for advices have responsibilities tagged to it and I just like to express it as an action of laying out some stories for people to see so that very person could take it as a reference, consuming only what’s relevant for them and slowly digested, not meant to be swallowed without giving much thought on it.
Finance, HR or venture capital. Those were the 3 choices I had for my job offers back in school bench – I am now on finance for my rice bowl and HR for side dish. Venture capital will come into vision when I get more ready as I move on. People do hit me with big questions and I see that everyone goes through the same loop in their mind. It’s good for me for it reminds me to perk myself up when I get mundane or just too comfy in own life zone. Oh well, human are just greedy beings trying to achieve things beyond their limits and just have the tendency to want to fail in life when traveling too down that spiral of self-dooming.
Enough rants from me this time. When will be my next, I do wonder too. I do plan to write more, of course. I am finally making my move from Chiba to Tokyo. Pay extra for rent just to buy time for other things. Weighed my choices on the scale and made my decision and final, so to speak. Alright, I wish you all a good Sunday and I am making ZzzZ’s till I wake up again with my next attempt to tackle exams & moving preparations. Au revoir and peace.